*** Warning, this is a bit of a rant about beauty standards. If you do not enjoy reading about this topic, turn away.
Alright. This is something I need to get off my chest. The idea that wearing an expensive dress over a cheap one makes you “worth” more is absolute insanity! The worth of an individual comes from their actions, skills, abilities and purpose in life. The worth of an individual is not defined by their clothing, car, house, lip stick or anything else!
I have heard so many women say they feel better in expensive clothing, because they attribute more worth to it, due to its price. GIRL! You do not need a $300.00 dress to be beautiful, because you are beautiful in a potato sack. You do not need a face full of make up, your smile shines brightly and your eyes twinkle! Your worth is not defined by your looks or what you own, but who you are! No matter how much money you spend, who you are underneath the cosmetics and the clothing doesn’t change. Invest time in your mental health, in your physical health, in your happiness. Invest in your relationships, your career, your hobbies!
That being said, if you love a $300.00 dress, buy it, but don’t ever believe you are worth more or less because of the dress. You can absolutely wear make up, but you are not worth more or less depending on the coverage of your foundation. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you will see yourself more than anyone else over the course of your lifetime. Ensure you see the beauty in yourself. Look at yourself fresh out of the shower, and be grateful to be you, thick or thin, tall or short, you get to be you, and what could possibly be better?
I am so tired of young girls believing their beauty can only be fabricated, when it can be embraced. Hearing women weep over their bodies because they have been “ruined” by having children. You have created life, carried it, pushed your body past its limits, survived childbirth, and now you have loose skin and stretch marks. Your body is not ruined, it’s recovering from extreme stress. You are not worth less, your beauty doesn’t shine any less brightly. And on that note, I have yet to meet an adult who does not have any stretch marks, regardless of having children. We have this idea that any mark on our skin devaluates us as people, I disagree! Every scar, stretch mark, bruise, and broken bone shows how much of your life you have lived. The greatest tragedy would be to go through life without any scars. I look at the scar on my ankle and laugh at the fathers day party when I got it, as I had caught my ankle on the door and bled everywhere. My soon to be sister-in-law helped clean me up and it was a bonding moment for us. That scar makes me smile. It’s a part of my past, and a part of me. I laugh at the stretch marks on my stomach, because I got through the depression that lead me to gaining a lot of weight very quickly that created those marks. I survived it, and those are the proof I got through. I have scars on my hands from my work, and those scars put food on the table, paid the rent and clothed me. I am grateful for my scars.
The idea that we have worth dependant on our weight is another one that blows my mind. If you are healthy, what else matters? If you are a thin woman, ignore the people who tell you you need to get something to eat, ignore those who would call you “to skinny”. Don’t be ashamed of your body! It’s the only one you’ll ever have, so embrace it, cherish it, care for it and enjoy living your life in it!
I have spent years of my life having people tell me to lose weight. As if I would be worth more if I were thinner. I am heavy, I am strong and I am beautiful. I care about my health, not my weight. As long as I am healthy, as long as I can live my life comfortably, why would I waste any time changing myself to suit someone else definition of “attractive”? A few year ago a man informed me my thighs looked “like hams”, he laughed cruelly when he said it, and all I could think was “I love ham”. Turns out, my man loves ham too. His negative attitude towards my body doesn’t make me worth less, it makes him ignorant, and I think lot of women let other people rob them of their confidence. You have a choice though, you can chose wether or not someone else’s commentary will affect you or not. You can chose to love yourself.
I realize this whole post has been a little scattered, but I needed to get this off my chest. I am just so tired of the idea that personal worth is tied to appearance. Do what makes you happy, wear what you love to wear, be who you want to be, and you will have a much happier life. I just want to see the women around me live happy, fulfilled lives! I want to see women reach for the stars, start their own companies, embrace their bodies, raise children, be awesome aunts, kick butt everyday and know that every day that they rise up they inspire others around them to do the same!
Thanks for reading, please leave your thoughts about this in the comments. I just feel like we need more love and support in this world, and I hope to see more of it this year.